How To Cope with Change, or Love in the Time of COVID-19

How’s everybody doing these days? Hmmm…yeah, me too. It’s certainly been strange, and I’m not sure what’s worse, the emotional impact of a virus that scares us to death, or dealing with the panic at the grocery stores, social distancing, and avoiding touching anything and everything, including ourselves.

In our household, we’ve been preparing for a potential lock down, however that doesn’t mitigate the stress and fear and endless conversations we’ve had about going out for now: “Are you going to the gym today?” “Do you have any appointments today?” “What are you doing today?” “Where are you going today?” “Are you wiping down everything?” Personally, it’s exhausting. I wipe down the entire inside of my car every time I come home. Wash my hands then wipe down frequently used things like light switches, the refrigerator door handles, doorknobs, etc…I’m not a person who adapts easily to change. I’m trying to remain positive, but there’s not much to be positive about in the media these days. Granted these changes seem overwhelming, and confusing, this in turn leads to stress, depression, anxiety, a kind of a no way out mentality.

At the end of this crisis we all want to come out of it in a better place. And I believe we will see the other side of this if we all cooperate. The human spirit needs to be revitalized. So how do we cope with changes that are out of our control?

According to some research a lot of it has to do with how resilient we are. That means our thought patterns, and our view of the past. We can ask ourselves, What got us through the crisis (fill in the blank) in the past, and what will see us through the current changes? Are we being mindful? Are we taking time to breathe, deeply and become aware of our surroundings? (They should be fresh and clean given all the disinfecting we’ve been doing! But, I digress)

Keeping to a routine as much as possible helps us to keep our balance. Exercise and eating healthy are beneficial as well. I’ve been researching and downloading all kinds of apps from grocery shopping to YouTube videos that feature exercise routines you can do at home. Which looks like I will most likely be doing in the next two weeks. Take advantage of our digital world! There’s tons to distract us.

Now is a the time to prioritize. We can view this current change in our circumstances as an opportunity. Where do you want to spend your time right now? What have you been spending wasting your time doing?

Although social distancing is a term we are becoming all too familiar with, that doesn’t mean we give up our friends and family. Draw closer to those we hold dear. We can talk via text, or phone call, or some kind of video chat app. I’m learning how to Zoom. Not sure how that will go…but change is inevitable. Learning how to adapt is a part of life and truly if we are to survive with our kindness, our charity, our love, intact becoming adaptable is key.

So, if there is a nationwide lock down, I’m going to get up, get clean, get dressed, put my make up on and do my thing, only that thing has to be within the walls of my own home and my back yard. : )

9 Senior Women on Coronavirus

The Psychology of Dealing With Change

Children Need to Learn–How to Be Resilient

 

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April Voytko Kempler is the author of The Altered I: Memoir of Holocaust Survivor Joseph Kempler available on Amazon in print and ebook and Barnes and Noble in print format

Overcoming Fear and Anxiety in the Wake of the Kobe Bryant Helicopter Crash

Recently an associate of mine expressed that she was experiencing a great deal of anxiety over flying. She said it was because of the recent helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, his daughter and several other people, including the pilot. She has a young child at home and the idea of dying and leaving her child ignited a real anxiety over flying.

Many people don’t know this about me, but my father is a  private pilot, I was brought up flying in a small plane, yet even now the idea of getting on a plane causes anxiety. Even writing about it is causing me anxiety! So, how could I comfort my friend, when I feel a similar way. Or, how could I offer some coping mechanisms. I did a little digging around and here is what I found.

A lot of our anxiety really stems from living in the world around us. Look at the news, we hear of crime, violence, murders, car accidents, viruses that are out of control and killing millions! Then we have natural disasters. Earthquakes, and hurricanes, floods, and tornadoes wreck havoc on many lives. Growing up in L.A. I witnesses riots, wildfires, mud slides and multiple earthquakes. Is it any wonder we are all nervous wrecks nowadays?

Fear of flying isn’t really fear of flying in itself. Some reports say that what happens is that there are stressors at home: marital discord, or a sick child. Life situations pile on and it seems we can’t take it anymore. Sometimes its just because we had a bad experience with a flight that triggers the anxiety. Also, who doesn’t get freaked out by the safety protocols every time we walk inside an airport. We might wonder if someone is lurking around the airport to do some damage! Also, the lines for the security check point can be daunting and add to our fears. Will we even make the flight we fear so much in time?

Really, it’s the feeling of loss of control that is the root cause of our fear and anxiety. So with all this bad stuff coming at us how do we cope?

• Watch the safety instructions when on board the flight. These are for our benefit should an event occur. Being informed is one way to combat fear and anxiety.
• Learn how a plane flies. Knowledge is power as the saying goes.
• Learn how air traffic controllers work at keeping all the planes from colliding into each other (or does that cause you more worry?)
• See a doctor
• Sometimes therapy is the key. A professional counselor or therapist and give some great pointers and exercises for when the fear and anxiety strike.  A controlled exposure therapist can even come on board with you. Which reminds me of a Cheers episode I watched recently where Frasier Crane went on a flight with Carla because she had a great fear of flying. (See video clip below)

 

• Medication might be the thing that you need.
• Deep breathing exercises, mantras, or even prayer.
• I find that soft comforting clothing works for me. I’m not talking about PJ’s and slippers, but a soft scarf, or blanket, or wrap. These items work immensely at diffusing the fear.

The point is, find what works for you. Everyone has specific needs when it comes to overcoming fear and anxiety in any situation, but please be assured it can be coped with.

To see the LeRue Press Reno Gal Says segment that aired on February 10, click the link below (from 45:20-56:21):

Reno Gal Says 

BBC Article Fear of Flying How To Beat the Fear of Flying

3 Tips to Fly Without Fear

 

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April Voytko Kempler is the author of The Altered I: Memoir of Joseph Kempler Holocaust Survivor

To purchase visit Barnes and Noble online for the print edition, and Amazon for print and ebook.